On Track... I Think...

Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, this is my last post on this blog... for now :P. I've been doing a lot of thinking and reflecting as of late, so here are a few questions I've been asking myself.

1) What on earth is wrong with me?!?! I know that is a vague, yet somewhat comical question, but in all seriousness, life has been so smooth and rough at the same time, that honestly, I feel all over the place. Socially and academically, things have just been kind of blah. When I say blah, I do not mean that its non-existent, but rather I do not know how to feel about it.

2) To be honest, I could not remember the reason why I made this blog. I had to sit down last night and today and think about what and why I have been writing on this blog since the end of 2008. While it literally was the Winter Break of 2008, its been only about a year that I've been posting, yet knowing that it is 2010, makes it feel like it has been way over a year since I started this. Upon looking back to my first few blog posts, I remembered that I was writing because I wanted to journal my thoughts while at the same time analyzing and trying to learn more about myself. But this week, for the first time in my life, I honestly had no idea what I was doing with myself. Not as in I was morally conflicted about what I was doing but rather my motivation behind things as well how I felt about the way things are going. Please note I am not saying things are going bad in any way or form, I just have lost my mind and don't know how I feel about things and thus apologize if I have seemed uncaring as of late.

These two things brought me to the conclusion... actually epiphany is a better word... but yes, these two things brought me to the realization that even while I try to understand myself, I will never really understand myself the way I want to. My motivations, desires (aside from my desire for God), will always be changing. And with these changes come new challenges and thoughts up ahead.

Upon this realization, the name of this blog has lost its significance to me for now and thus I am going to start a new one. I hope that the few followers I have will follow me there, and hopefully instead of me ranting, complaining or stating things that may be obvious to you and not yet by me, that you will find something of use or inspiration there. So CHEERS, here's to a new chapter and God Bless!

http://holdonehope.blogspot.com

Take the Lead

There's something about dance that can't really be put in to words. I love dance. The way you can learn things about people just from dancing with them or watching them dance without even talking with them. Dance can tell you some things about people that words would never tell you. It can even tell you things about yourself that you didn't know. By no stretch am I good at tango yet, but one thing I have respect for are the guys that do it. You have to be bold and conscious about the connection you have with your partner, and the signals you give with your body so that your partner can follow your lead. It does wonders for self confidence and I definitely feel better about myself even though I was tripping all over the floor at the Milonga and was nervous because everyone around me was so good. It's safe to say that I'm in love with dance. Granted I'm not even that good at it, but I love the connection with it and the emotion behind it. It could be as simple as leading a girl around a gym to a tango, or something as special as praising God in body worship. I love the expression it allows me and the fact that it can say the things that I'm no good at articulating. I love it. :) I think it's fair to say if I date a girl, she's got to be able to dance.... actually that sounds bad. It doesn't matter if shes good at it or not, she's also gotta have a love for it too... or something like that haha :P

Cards on the Table...

Some of y'all just need to mind your own business and shut up... just sayin

Curveball

God always keeps me on my toes. The moment I get used to the way things are, even if it is something that hasn't been defined yet, He throws me something new to tackle. This time, I feel like the message is " MAN UP!" I feel like right now is the time to show myself and others how much I have changed and grown in these few years. I refuse to be childish this time. This has got to be a test, and God by all means I will tackle this head on because with You, I don't have to worry. I know You will handle everything. On towards the head on collision! I guess it is time for a little interference ;-) hahaha. The interference references are soooo much fun! ^_^