For the early part of my life, I grew up in the church. My parents definitely did well to raise me as a good Christian son. VBS, Sunday school, church camps, the works. I wish I could say that I was one of the popular kids back then, but the fact was, I never was. I was the kid who got picked on constantly. I hardly had any friends, couldn't hold a conversation for the life of me, and was always looked down upon. I was the kid that got picked on in church, out of church, the kid that got rocks thrown at him at the bus stop, and the kid who would rather spend recess beating his teachers at chess instead of playing kickball. Not gonna lie, I look back at life and wince. It sucked... hard.
But God blessed me with other things and I still thanked Him everyday. As a kid, I was very athletic. Soccer, Tennis, Track, Swimming, and most importantly Skating. I guess some of you could say that I had the rocks coming my direction because of the Skating. I figure skated, and speed skated, and at the time speed skating wasn't a well known sport, and even today figure skating is considered a girl's sport. While I faced hardship at school, and in church, my parents still raised me to ignore the haters because God loved me and blessed me with many other safe havens. In this case, it was my sports.
I loved to skate, and it soon consumed my life. I'd get up at 4:45am, goto practice and skate from 6-8am. Head to school late because I had special permission to take less classes so I could train. Instead of leaving at 3pm like all the other kids, I was exempt and was allowed to leave at 1, only to head to the gym, spend 2 hours lifting and running, then back on the ice for another two hours before heading home to do homework and repeating this schedule. Pretty soon, I wasn't going to church. Instead of going to service, my parents would take me to the rink on Sundays so I could practice more or catch up on rest before doing it all again the next week. I was training 6-7 days a week and it was exhausting. This was all at the raw age of 14 and for the next few years, I started forgetting to thank God for the blessings He had given me, and forgot about Him completely.
As I left middle school and entered high school, I got to see more of the bullies that used to pick on me at church. I hadn't seen them in years, but I still hated them for all the trouble they caused me as a little kid. In between class periods, I would try to avoid them in the halls because I could see that they wanted to approach me. Finally, one fateful day... they were successful with catching up to me. I winced at their approaching, thinking I'd just get some crap from them or something for being a skater. Insert some joke about wearing tights here, throw a gay joke there... anything, I was sure that I was ready for it, but I wasn't. They came up to me and asked me why I hadn't been to church in a long time. And said I should come out to youth group. I was shocked, they were being nice!
God is amazing, He changes others and it definitely is transparent. And no matter how far you run away from Him, even if you think you are rebelling and running far far away, He's just delivering you to your next destination. I was truly a lucky teenager. I had my skating, got to travel all over the place to train and compete, and when I was home, I had my friends, my youth group, and was just starting to get noticed by girls. Eventually I stopped skating because of injury, but I kept thinking about how good my life was and that I could do this forever. Turns out, forever was not that long. My dad received a new job that required him to move out to the east coast. To NEW JERSEY of all places... what the heck is in New Jersey I'd ask myself. I hated my parents for taking me out of my comfort zone and throwing me into some foreign environment. The little kid who got rocks thrown at him was scared to move somewhere new. He was emotionally unequipped to do so and in no way shape or form was ready for it.
It was at that time at a retreat, my eyes were opened to the story of Joshua. Joshua was in charge after Moses, and constantly Joshua would cry to God that he wasn't ready for this change, and every time God would tell Joshua, that it didn't matter if he thought if he was unprepared because God has His master plan and we don't know ourselves what we are capable of. So after yelling at God a little bit about how much this move to the east coast was going to suck, I grudgingly took the leap and left my little bubble.
God is my Mighty Deliverer and I am eternally grateful for all that He has placed in my life. As I got to my new life in Jersey, I was greeted by a complete stranger who offered to help me unpack my new house. This kid turned out to be my best friend. As I settled in a new church, I was greeted by a sea of friendly faces all curious to get to know me. One face in particular stuck with me and she and I became great friends as well. She's now my girlfriend :).
God has delivered me to many great places. The college I'm about to graduate from, the church I am always being blessed by, the dance ministry in which I worship Him freely, and my friends and family. I could talk to you about drugs, rebellion, and a bunch of unhealthy relationships, but that isn't what my testimony is about. It's about God who is always there no matter what, delivering me to where He wants me to be. Like Joshua, I'll never be ready for whatever trials ahead, but I take comfort knowing that it's all for His glory, and a part of His plan. He delivers, time and time again.
God can move us in amazing ways...so what are you waiting for? Let Him.
danggg :DD
ReplyDeletewooooo yay for deliverance :)
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