Retreat

Yea, I'm not at retreat either. For those of you who I haven't told, my grandfather passed away this past Monday from pneumonia. He was already in bad shape and has been for years. Thankfully enough he became Christian six years back and is now safely with our Father. I'm in Chicago right now because the funeral was this past Saturday and my aunts, uncles, and parents wanted to postpone it so all the grandchildren could fly home from college and work to be together. While the circumstances have not been so bright, this funeral has been such a blessing. Even though I'm not at retreat with all you guys, I definitely had a retreat of my own, and I'm coming home with new things that need digesting, a few convictions, and things that I've learned about myself and what I want.

My grandpa was a really loving and caring man. He managed to get out of communist China and go to Hong Kong and eventually America, then call for his wife, five daughters and son in Mississippi. From there they eventually moved to Chicago. My grandpa was a chef in a restaurant and spent long hours working to provide for his family. Six kids and a wife to provide for... the thought still baffles me. He sacrificed so much, so he could give to his family, and his joy was in the happiness of his children's dreams and his wife.

I never really thought about how good I had it as a kid. While our parents worked, our grandparents took care of me, my sister, and anywhere from two to four other cousins, so our parents could work and provide. When I think about my grandfather's life, he never really stopped giving. The thought in itself is just so humbling. God willing, if I get to have a wife and children, I would truly like to have as much love in it as my grandfather loved his children and their children. I never thought about how much love there is in my extended family. I truly view my cousins as siblings and being with them is so refreshing and fun. I know I don't get to see them all the time but it's truly amazing to see God working all over the place as he works in and through us.

The one thing I'm taking back to Philly with, is love. At the funeral home, I got the opportunity to see so many old faces. Kids I grew up with in VBS, my old sunday school teacher, the Chinese grandma, that used to babysit me and my cousins, and so many more people. After having the lunch after the funeral, I got to sit in on their stories and hear how God played through all of them and brought many of them together. When hearing their stories, I couldn't help but think to myself how perfectly the stories turned out and how God did all of these things. I think, that after these past few years in college, I've lost focus of loving others and taking care of the people around me. I've been so focused on myself and my relationship with God that I have not opened myself up to all the people God is using around me.

I know it's really weird to say this, but while I was looking for retreat to really kick me into gear for this year and spring semester, this funeral and time spent with family and friends, is what I really needed. Cards on the table, I was kind of angry with God at first that I couldn't go to retreat (childish I know). But He does everything for a reason, and with that, I think I'm ready to get the ball rolling this semester. Let's go guys! :)

Sunday Morning and Decisions, Decisions

So I had this post idea running around in my head since Sunday, but I just never found the time or motivation to actually pound away at my keyboard until now. :D

This is my mash up. Well not really, because to be honest, there is no music involved with this post except that I'm going to post a youtube link for a song because i like it at the end.

I call this my mash up because the two song titles popped into my head on Sunday morning as I was running around getting stuff done. Sunday Morning by Maroon 5 and Decisions, Decisions by The Starting Line. Both songs are at least four years old, but thats irrelevant. This past Sunday, was really packed with social obligations, church, and pretty much just meeting up before this semester kicked off. It started with a friend asking to go out to dim sum. I ended up being late to GCC's Sunday service and had rushed to get to University City to make it. After service I spent the day hanging out with Temple people that I haven't spent time with in a long time. As I was rushing around in the morning I felt God telling me that I would have to make decisions this semester that would stretch me as a person. As the day closed with going out to dinner with some Temple underclassmen, I realized that even though I am going to UC for church, I still love and miss the people at Temple.

This is my mash up because I feel like the decisions that God will lay out before me this semester will make me decide what I want to do or where I want to go. But it occurred to me that the third option of trying to fit it all in was a viable one.

So this semester, I plan on being there. Trying to fit as much as I can into the time that I have, and see where that leads me :) I want to be there for you, and you, and you, and you! You get the picture :D

As for the song I wanted to post, it's entitled Analyze by Tim Be Told. Enjoy!

Going Going Gone

This year, I'm going to:

hit the ground running
not look back
take initiative
not let things slip past me
do better
over think less
love more
worry less

and just go with it